That One line...

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has long been one of my favourite authors ever since I picked her book, Half a Yellow Sun.  

It tells the story of two sisters navigating their lives in Nigeria in the midst of the Nigerian Civil War in the sixties.

The war increasingly impacts their lives, and the lives of their households, as they navigate everyday relationships and family fall-outs. Adichie's style is haunting and although I actually read it several years ago, the ending and one particular line in the book has stuck with me. 

I think we've all been enjoying a novel and a particular line or phrase has jumped off the page and spoken to us directly without it obviously being for us... or is it? The line, without the authors intention, communicates with your particular situation, and the event in the book doesn't need to correlate with your situation to make it right or wrong. It's what you think and how it helps you. 

So there is a conversation between one of the sisters and a man, I think possibly her uncle or Father, (sorry I don't recall -due a re-read methinks!). She feels betrayed by her husband who has been up to no good. Anyway context aside her uncle says to her 'Why do you need so much outside yourself? Why aren't you enough?!' 

Although I read this in a time when my mental health wasn't so bad, this line and the subject behind it came flooding back to my head when my mental health took a dip. This is how I interpret it...

It's true isn't it? We all seek for affirmations outside ourselves, that we are great, or we are making the right decisions, or that we are being successful. This constant cycle of comparison gets to your head as you continually measure yourself against someone else's life and success's. 

You may not be their yet but you'll learn this cycle is poisonous and will only serve to make you more miserable. Instead, learn to celebrate the tiniest successes' and wins in your daily life, it's difficult and it may feel silly but you need only look back and measure yourself on how you were six or ten months ago. For example, (I'm sure there are many that will agree), getting out of bed in the morning and deciding to be happy is a small miracle and an achievement that should be rightly celebrated. Similarly, eating something other than super noodles for lunch is also an achievement for me some weeks.

It may sound silly but you will get so much more enjoyment out of celebrating these things, rather than counting your losses against what someone else is up too. You don't need anything outside yourself, you are enough and corny as it sounds you contain all your losses, achievements and future ambitions within yourself. So there is no point aspiring to someone else's, because they're not you! 

The Author 

If you're interested in Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, her other novels (which I have read) include;

Americanah - Tells the tale of a young Nigerian student who comes to study and live in the USA. Really interesting observations on how race, particularly for women in the USA are viewed. One particular bit that I recall is the discussion in the American hair salon about her 'different' hair. 

Purple Hibiscus - Adichie's debut novel, quite a harrowing coming of age story for a young Nigerian girl. She lives in a wealthy ultra-catholic home with her domineering and abusive Father. It reminded me of Maya Angelou's I know why the Caged bird Sings, because of the descriptions of domestic violence, strict homes and a young girl as a the central narrator. 

We Should all be Feminists - A wee modern feminist manifesto where she redefines that feminism is for everyone. 

The Thing Around your Neck - My most recent read of hers which I hope to talk more about in a separate post. It's her short story collection, each story only a few pages long but with some of her most memorable characters and plots. 

I haven't read her most recent Zikora or Notes on Grief which has come out pretty recently, I have just learnt! Anyway obviously looking forward to them !!!!